Networking is like a four letter word in law school. We all know we need to do it. Or, rather, we all know we should do it. But, when it comes to doing it many of us would rather leave it to the MBA students over at the business school. I mean, you’re schmoozing with someone for the sole purpose of making friends who will help you get a job. Something about it just sort of feels a little dirty. Nothing about it feels genuine. And yet, in the world of law, it is often the only way to get your resume off the stack and into someone’s hands.
Some of us come to this skill set more naturally than others. I, though gregarious and fun-loving, am not a natural networker. Rather, I am that awkward kid that sits there holding my cocktail like a life preserver mumbling “don’t take my stapler.”
I don’t lack self-esteem. When it comes to my professional skill sets, I’ll be the first to tell you how accomplished I am. I’m a great listener. I also have awesome analytical reasoning skills. I also have great public speaking skills and am not shy in crowds. All of these traits have been fairly helpful in law school. But – yes, there’s a “but” – I am horrible at asking questions. That’s right, I am not good at asking about things I want to know about. And this fact alone seems to make my networking experiences seem like a train wreck I couldn’t look away from.
It’s not a shyness thing – I am a fairly gregarious and engaging person. I have no hang ups with public speaking. It’s not a fear of sounding stupid either. I have no shame.
Sometimes I think perhaps I listen too well, and by the time the interviewer comes around to the “do you have any questions for us?” phase of the interview, all of my questions have been answered. I simply don’t know what to ask about. And I suck at making up questions on the fly. For an interview this innate deficiency is really easy to mask – I prep like hell and make a list of questions that are relevant to the employer and the prospective job well in advance. However, for networking, I often find myself struggling with where to begin.
With a little practice I’ve learned to hide this flaw, masking it with smiles, nods, and frequent trips to the available food and drink. If it’s a group event, I also listen attentively to the other question-askers, using context clues to help me piece together something I might ask that’s not redundant but also useful. And then I ask for a business card. But that’s not really enough.
Step two is the follow up email. Figuring out how to connect outside of the networking event is challenging at best. If they’ve offered to do something specific like, say, look over your resume this part is easier. If you’re asking to meet for coffee its a whole different ball of wax. And my biggest pitfall? Getting around to emailing in the first place. I will sit on business cards for weeks until it gets to the point where I feel like emailing is uncomfortably awkward. And then I feel guilty about the fact that so much time has lapsed – which usually causes even more time to lapse. And even more guilt and shame to accumulate. Until I’ve finally decided to start over with a new group of people only to struggle with this key follow-up step again. Like I said, its a train wreck I can’t look away from.
But now that time is of the essence and my job search is entirely dependent on me learning right this very second to do all of these things I’m so very bad at I find myself jumping straight into the deep end. More events. More business cards. More awkward emails. I even have a spreadsheet to track it. Basically, learning to network is like learning to ride a bike. The only way to learn is to do it over and over again until you get it right. Sometimes you crash into the bushes but you just have to get back up and try again.
Until then, I hope my foibles are as entertaining to everyone else as they are to me. I’ll be in the corner, drinking red wine, mumbling about how someone took my stapler.
Missing, Presumed Unemployed 