Tag Archives: graduation

Lost & Found (Afternoon Edition)

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Internships:

Entry Level (0-1):

Junior (1-3):

Mid Level (3-5):

Senior (5+):

Partner (7-10+):

Contract:

JD Preferred:

Graduation: AKA My Impending Doom

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The only time, I repeat – ONLY – time that I’m excited to be graduating law school is when I’m on Facebook late at night and I see what my high school and undergraduate classmates are up to. Then, for approximately 30 seconds, I contemplate posting something like “Guess who’s about to graduate lawwwwwww schoool? Yeah, that’s right, me. Suck it bitches.” But, I never ever go through with it.

For one, my victory dance would be terribly short-lived. The follow-up “congratulations”  would be overshadowed by the dreaded “what are you plans for afterwards?”

Well, uh, as I’m unemployed and my current plans involve taking the bar exam and becoming a vagabond on the national mall I don’t really want to talk about it.

“But you went to law school” They’ll say. “Don’t you have a job lined up?” They’ll ask. See, they’re confused. Largely because the general population thinks everyone that goes to law school comes out with a silver spoon in their mouth and a job in hand, ready to make six figures and drive a Porche.

So, when I hesitantly reply “Well the job market is sort of terrible right now, and I’ll have student debt coming out my eyeballs…” they scoff and say “well it’s your fault for going to law school.”

And well, they’re sort of right. I did chose to go to law school. I did know the economy wasn’t stellar in 2010. Though it had shown signs of growth in specific sectors. Except – there’s one small thing. It’s really a tiny thing. And believe me, I’m not trying to blame shift but – I never expected to make six figures. From the beginning, my life plan included exactly one thing: working for the United States Government.

Guess what doesn’t happen during a sequester? Working for the government. Hell even current government employees can’t get paid to work for the government. They’re furloughing the shit out of people here in DC. Annnnnd hiring is virtually frozen.

So, my life plans drastically changed when that happened. And now I’m going to be a drunk vagabond living in a box fort on the national mall. Potentially offering pro bono legal advice if Virginia deigns to grant me bar admission. Provided I can pass character and fitness after this little confessional.

Second, there is no proper way to convey “I swear I’m not an elitist snob now that I’m about to graduate law school, but I’m sort of an elitist snob who now disdains all liberal arts majors despite being a former liberal arts majors.”

Lastly, in law school you never post your accomplishments – you just sit and wait patiently for someone else to congratulate you while adding hints in the most passive-aggressive manner possible. Well, I guess you can post your accomplishments. But then you’re that asshole.

So, instead, I sit here counting down the tasks that lay between me and graduation wondering if the pictures of me in my cap and gown will be attractive enough to passive aggressively post on Facebook while I fish for congratulations from the crowd. Because, really, I want to feel good about this thing that I’ve accomplished in my life. But I really, really, really don’t want to talk about my (un)employment status.

Unless of course I get a job. But let’s get real, I’m not that asshole. I’m not going to post that on Facebook. I’m going to wait until a friend strategically congratulates me like a neurotic passive aggressive freak. I swear, only law students can be this self-important and insecure at the same time.

What Does it Mean to be “Entry-Level?”

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I’ve been combing job boards all week, trying to scrounge up more positions to apply to. Whenever I see the words “entry-level” or “recent grad” I get ridiculous amounts of excited. And then it happens. I’ve clicked on the posting, begun to scroll down, and *POOF* all of my excitement evaporates into a cloud of disgruntled bitterness. I’ve reached something that says “requires bar passage” or “bar passage required at the time of application” or “requires proof of bar license.”

I have exactly none of these things. Why? Because I haven’t graduated from law school yet. I haven’t taken the bar yet. I will be taking the bar this July and I certainly hope I obtain bar passage when the results come out later in the fall.

Why does this embitter me so? Well, quite frankly it’s because legal employers aren’t stupid. They know darn well that there are exactly two times a year that someone may sit for a state bar exam. They also know that, with a few exceptions, you can only sit for one state at a time. And furthermore, they know that by April you’ve already financially committed to which state you’ll be sitting for and won’t be able to add an additional state until February, when you can sit for the next bar exam.

So, when I read through these positions I can’t help but think “do they really want someone who is “entry-level?” And, the answer I’ve come up with is a bit disheartening. In today’s economy entry-level isn’t usually a new grad. Rather, it’s someone who is still job hunting from the prior year’s graduating class. Or someone who has been clerking. Or someone who has been taking contract work.

No one wants to take the time to train the fresh meat. No one wants to risk employing someone who might not pass the bar their first time out of the gate. Everyone wants a sure bet.

So, as a soon-to-be new grad, how do I market myself? How do I let an employer know that I’m not the fresh meat they fear me to be? My resume is chock-full of clinic and internships and my work experience prior to law school. My cover letter clearly literates my skill sets. But, I know that when a recruiter is faced with 600+ candidates (common in the age of internet applications) that we’re lucky if half of our applications get face time. Getting off that pile in the first place is really the whole battle.

Unemployment, Revisited

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In less than 60 days, I graduate from [not Georgetown Law]. Bar study class starts the morning after. I have not (yet) acquired post-graduation employment, gainful or otherwise.  The fact that I haven’t collapsed from a panic attack is a small miracle, but I suppose the (seemingly) never ending job search keeps me going. That and the ever-present cup of coffee in my hand. To be fair, sometimes it’s herbal tea.

For the second time in my relatively short adult life, I’m about to graduate into a shaky economy with few full time employment prospects. It’s daunting, but familiar. So, I’m doing what I do best – diffusing stress with the occasional bit of dark humor, a stab at creative writing, and spending all my spare time alternating frantically applying to jobs with staring into my laptop screen like a zombie as streaming video auto-plays.

I’m pretty sure my post-bar employment plans consist of gathering as many cardboard boxes as I can and making a box fort on the national mall. I have a few law school cohorts who might join me, which would be awesome because it means I wouldn’t have to collect quite so many boxes on my own. I’ve always been a fan of pooling resources whenever possible. I would make a very bad contestant on survivor because my desire to win would constantly be at war with my desire to make logical choices that not only benefit me, but the person sleeping on the tropical beach next to me. It really is too bad that DC has a northern climate, as that’s less than optimal for a box fort. I suppose we could work on various DIY water-proofing and insulation tactics. Then we can have our very own tent city. We might even hang our very own shingle and start a cardboard legal clinic – like Lucy in Peanuts. Once we get our bar passage results, we’ll have a wide variety of jurisdictions represented. Good thing the new law school building is supposed to have showers – it really should have a gym, though. Wouldn’t want to get out of shape.