The Fellowships That Weren’t

So, I’m a bit bummed. I applied to and interviewed for 2 (unpaid) fellowships with an executive branch agency. I REALLY wanted them for the following reasons: (1) the agency they were with, (2) solid work experience, (3) the possibility of obtaining funding through my school, and (4) the max 35 h/week schedule that would allow for looking for full-time employment.

I thought the interviews went well, but then the usual thing happened: I heard nothing. And then more nothing. I followed up: no reply. (Which, for the record, is never a good sign). I followed up again. Instead of my contact emailing me back, a secretary sent me a generic rejection email.

Now, while it’s a bummer to not get something – I think that the way my contact handled the follow-up made the situation that much more sucky. It’s bad enough to be rejected – but to not even have the decency to follow-up with me yourself? It just made me sad.

The unfortunate side effect of being so excited for these fellowships is that I sort of put my job hunting on hold, probably putting too many eggs into those particular baskets. Now I have to get underway again ASAP because trying to do anything during bar study besides bar study is challenging at best. And, as you all know, looking for a job is a full-time job in and of itself.

But, I’m back in the saddle. Here’s to not having to declare bankruptcy come September.

Dear God.

My “hiatus” lasted longer than a month. That was truly unintentional.

But then one final turned into another final turned into a paper. And then that turned into graduation and moving (I truly loathe moving). And then that magically transformed into bar study.

The problem though, is in addition to not posting I’ve also been slacking on the job hunting front. Which means I’ve been slacking on the job application front.

CLEARLY I need to get back on that bandwagon. And how.

When Witness Protection Begins to Look Like an Attractive Career Alternative

I have a friend who recently told me about a dream she had. She was running from the mob because she stopped some sort of trademark infringement. The upshot of this public service was that the US government paid her $40K. The downside was obviously being shot at. But, in her dream she didn’t actually get shot – which she felt was worth $40K. However, if she were to be continually hunted by the mob she wasn’t sure $40K would cover being put in witness protection.

Then we thought about this for a second and had a jinx-moment where we both said “except in witness protection they arrange for you to have a job”

….An arranged job?

I should probably figure out how to do that immediately This may be the best thing since arranged marriages.

Networking 101: And Why I Am Terrible At It

Networking is like a four letter word in law school. We all know we need to do it. Or, rather, we all know we should do it. But, when it comes to doing it many of us would rather leave it to the MBA students over at the business school. I mean, you’re schmoozing with someone for the sole purpose of making friends who will help you get a job. Something about it just sort of feels a little dirty. Nothing about it feels genuine. And yet, in the world of law, it is often the only way to get your resume off the stack and into someone’s hands.

Some of us come to this skill set more naturally than others. I, though gregarious and fun-loving, am not a natural networker. Rather, I am that awkward kid that sits there holding my cocktail like a life preserver mumbling “don’t take my stapler.”

I don’t lack self-esteem. When it comes to my professional skill sets, I’ll be the first to tell you how accomplished I am. I’m a great listener. I also have awesome analytical reasoning skills. I also have great public speaking skills and am not shy in crowds. All of these traits have been fairly helpful in law school. But – yes, there’s a “but” – I am horrible at asking questions. That’s right, I am not good at asking about things I want to know about. And this fact alone seems to make my networking experiences seem like a train wreck I couldn’t look away from.

It’s not a shyness thing – I am a fairly gregarious and engaging person. I have no hang ups with public speaking. It’s not a fear of sounding stupid either. I have no shame.

Sometimes I think perhaps I listen too well, and by the time the interviewer comes around to the “do you have any questions for us?” phase of the interview, all of my questions have been answered. I simply don’t know what to ask about. And I suck at making up questions on the fly. For an interview this innate deficiency is really easy to mask – I prep like hell and make a list of questions that are relevant to the employer and the prospective job well in advance. However, for networking, I often find myself struggling with where to begin.

With a little practice I’ve learned to hide this flaw, masking it with smiles, nods, and frequent trips to the available food and drink. If it’s a group event, I also listen attentively to the other question-askers, using context clues to help me piece together something I might ask that’s not redundant but also useful. And then I ask for a business card. But that’s not really enough.

Step two is the follow up email. Figuring out how to connect outside of the networking event is challenging at best. If they’ve offered to do something specific like, say, look over your resume this part is easier. If you’re asking to meet for coffee its a whole different ball of wax. And my biggest pitfall? Getting around to emailing in the first place. I will sit on business cards for weeks until it gets to the point where I feel like emailing is uncomfortably awkward. And then I feel guilty about the fact that so much time has lapsed – which usually causes even more time to lapse. And even more guilt and shame to accumulate. Until I’ve finally decided to start over with a new group of people only to struggle with this key follow-up step again. Like I said, its a train wreck I can’t look away from.

But now that time is of the essence and my job search is entirely dependent on me learning right this very second to do all of these things I’m so very bad at I find myself jumping straight into the deep end. More events. More business cards. More awkward emails. I even have a spreadsheet to track it. Basically, learning to network is like learning to ride a bike. The only way to learn is to do it over and over again until you get it right. Sometimes you crash into the bushes but you just have to get back up and try again.

Until then, I hope my foibles are as entertaining to everyone else as they are to me. I’ll be in the corner, drinking red wine, mumbling about how someone took my stapler.

 

 

Graduation: AKA My Impending Doom

The only time, I repeat – ONLY – time that I’m excited to be graduating law school is when I’m on Facebook late at night and I see what my high school and undergraduate classmates are up to. Then, for approximately 30 seconds, I contemplate posting something like “Guess who’s about to graduate lawwwwwww schoool? Yeah, that’s right, me. Suck it bitches.” But, I never ever go through with it.

For one, my victory dance would be terribly short-lived. The follow-up “congratulations”  would be overshadowed by the dreaded “what are you plans for afterwards?”

Well, uh, as I’m unemployed and my current plans involve taking the bar exam and becoming a vagabond on the national mall I don’t really want to talk about it.

“But you went to law school” They’ll say. “Don’t you have a job lined up?” They’ll ask. See, they’re confused. Largely because the general population thinks everyone that goes to law school comes out with a silver spoon in their mouth and a job in hand, ready to make six figures and drive a Porche.

So, when I hesitantly reply “Well the job market is sort of terrible right now, and I’ll have student debt coming out my eyeballs…” they scoff and say “well it’s your fault for going to law school.”

And well, they’re sort of right. I did chose to go to law school. I did know the economy wasn’t stellar in 2010. Though it had shown signs of growth in specific sectors. Except – there’s one small thing. It’s really a tiny thing. And believe me, I’m not trying to blame shift but – I never expected to make six figures. From the beginning, my life plan included exactly one thing: working for the United States Government.

Guess what doesn’t happen during a sequester? Working for the government. Hell even current government employees can’t get paid to work for the government. They’re furloughing the shit out of people here in DC. Annnnnd hiring is virtually frozen.

So, my life plans drastically changed when that happened. And now I’m going to be a drunk vagabond living in a box fort on the national mall. Potentially offering pro bono legal advice if Virginia deigns to grant me bar admission. Provided I can pass character and fitness after this little confessional.

Second, there is no proper way to convey “I swear I’m not an elitist snob now that I’m about to graduate law school, but I’m sort of an elitist snob who now disdains all liberal arts majors despite being a former liberal arts majors.”

Lastly, in law school you never post your accomplishments – you just sit and wait patiently for someone else to congratulate you while adding hints in the most passive-aggressive manner possible. Well, I guess you can post your accomplishments. But then you’re that asshole.

So, instead, I sit here counting down the tasks that lay between me and graduation wondering if the pictures of me in my cap and gown will be attractive enough to passive aggressively post on Facebook while I fish for congratulations from the crowd. Because, really, I want to feel good about this thing that I’ve accomplished in my life. But I really, really, really don’t want to talk about my (un)employment status.

Unless of course I get a job. But let’s get real, I’m not that asshole. I’m not going to post that on Facebook. I’m going to wait until a friend strategically congratulates me like a neurotic passive aggressive freak. I swear, only law students can be this self-important and insecure at the same time.

Taking Off The Blinders

I think one of the hardest things about job searching is that we all have a vision of ourselves living and working in a particular part of the country. Except, in this economy we just can’t be that picky.

I know, it’s hard. You sit in front of your computer staring at that job posting thinking “I could move to Vegas. I’m young. Living in Vegas could be fun.” And then you click over to something else (probably facebook or gchat) and before you go back to your other tab you think “do I really want to move to Vegas?” And so the inner turmoil begins.

You begin an unintentional list of pros and cons. Pros: Sunny, Casinos, Night Life; Cons: Crime, Old people at casinos, Will I have any time to enjoy the night life? You debate just how much housing might cost (and further procrastinate by visiting craigslist to check the average price of a 1 Bedroom). You think of how far away your family will be. Because it’s April, and you’ve likely already registered for one bar exam, you bemoan the fact that you’d have to take a February bar. Or that they might not even look at your resume because you’re not taking the Nevada bar and it’s too late to switch. And, ultimately, you angst about Vegas not being the Location of Your Dreams.

As law students, we’re taught to be targeted in our approaches to things. We have goals. We reach our goals. When we’re working in the city (or even the region) of the country we want to work in is unrealistic, we just don’t know how to process it. I know “processing” for me often involves a box of cookies and some nexflix continuous streaming.

And, half the battle is that we only really know how to job search where we’re used to looking. At worst, we shy away from the unfamiliar. At best, we bumble through trying to find jobs in a region we know little to nothing about.

But, there is hope! Something that your Career Services office either forgot to tell you or glossed over – Law School Career Offices have reciprocity agreements with one another.

What does this mean? Well, you know that nifty job board that you can log into by virtue of being a student? Every other law school has one as well. And all of these job boards have unique postings. In order to help students with searches across the country, schools have set up reciprocity agreements granting students from sister institutions access.

What does this mean for you? Go, now, to your career office and get that list of sister schools. Email your career counselor requesting information on gaining access and email their career counselors requesting information on gaining access. Hopefully, with enough email prodding you’ll eventually have a much, much larger job board to look at.

And more job postings means more applications. More applications (hopefully) means more interviews. Which brings you one step closer to gainful legal employment, right?

I certainly hope so.

 

What Does it Mean to be “Entry-Level?”

I’ve been combing job boards all week, trying to scrounge up more positions to apply to. Whenever I see the words “entry-level” or “recent grad” I get ridiculous amounts of excited. And then it happens. I’ve clicked on the posting, begun to scroll down, and *POOF* all of my excitement evaporates into a cloud of disgruntled bitterness. I’ve reached something that says “requires bar passage” or “bar passage required at the time of application” or “requires proof of bar license.”

I have exactly none of these things. Why? Because I haven’t graduated from law school yet. I haven’t taken the bar yet. I will be taking the bar this July and I certainly hope I obtain bar passage when the results come out later in the fall.

Why does this embitter me so? Well, quite frankly it’s because legal employers aren’t stupid. They know darn well that there are exactly two times a year that someone may sit for a state bar exam. They also know that, with a few exceptions, you can only sit for one state at a time. And furthermore, they know that by April you’ve already financially committed to which state you’ll be sitting for and won’t be able to add an additional state until February, when you can sit for the next bar exam.

So, when I read through these positions I can’t help but think “do they really want someone who is “entry-level?” And, the answer I’ve come up with is a bit disheartening. In today’s economy entry-level isn’t usually a new grad. Rather, it’s someone who is still job hunting from the prior year’s graduating class. Or someone who has been clerking. Or someone who has been taking contract work.

No one wants to take the time to train the fresh meat. No one wants to risk employing someone who might not pass the bar their first time out of the gate. Everyone wants a sure bet.

So, as a soon-to-be new grad, how do I market myself? How do I let an employer know that I’m not the fresh meat they fear me to be? My resume is chock-full of clinic and internships and my work experience prior to law school. My cover letter clearly literates my skill sets. But, I know that when a recruiter is faced with 600+ candidates (common in the age of internet applications) that we’re lucky if half of our applications get face time. Getting off that pile in the first place is really the whole battle.

Sleep On It

When you’re stressed out, there’s generally nothing worse than going to bed with a lot on your mind. You sleep terribly, with strange dreams of rodeo clowns mocking your failures -provided you can sleep in the first place.

I definitely tend to fall victim to stress-induced insomnia, and last night was fairly routine. I had a late meeting at school and we all decided to go out for drinks after to celebrate finishing our task. Plus, it’s always nice to blow off a little steam.

I got home just before midnight, only to check my mail and notice that I had received a dreaded thin envelope. Another job rejection. Though, at least this office was kind enough to let me know I had been crossed off the list. It’s marginally better than throwing my application out into the ether to never be heard from again.

It’s hard to unwind after a long day. It’s harder yet to turn my brain off after reading that tiny form letter. I can sit here and tell myself it’s for a job I didn’t really want and wasn’t that qualified for – both of which are true- but I can’t really find solace in that.

On one hand I wish I could be narrow and targeted and picky with my job search. On the other hand I’ve had to swallow the realities of the fact I need gainful employment regardless of personal cost. This might mean living somewhere undesirable. Or doing something less than ideal. So I can’t just sit here and comfort myself with the knowledge that I’m better off without a job practicing corporate litigation in Delaware.

Instead, as I laid down and turned out the lights my brain parsed the form rejection letter. Brief but polite. Definitely not the worst one I’ve gotten. Though I really do wish recruiters would come up with a better line than “we found your application very impressive but.”

Because that’s not even a good lie. That’s the HR equivalent of “it’s not you, it’s me. And when we entry level schmucks get those form letters we know damn well it was our fault we didn’t make it to the next round. Kimmy, who you are going to interview, not only is in the top 15% of the class, but she’s on moot court and clerked for that judge last year. Oh, and she has bar passage. Which basically translates to, we know we said entry-level but really we wanted someone who was a sure bet. No one wants to risk taking a virgin to the prom, right?

So, I consoled myself the only way I knew how. I fed myself cheese and said over and over “you didn’t want to move to Delaware anyway” and “you didn’t even remember applying to that firm.”

And then, I slept on it. I just really wish I could have less dreams involving rodeo clowns. Not only have I never actually been to a rodeo, but it’s really mean when they taunt me for being unable to rope a calf. What do they expect from a city girl?

Health Insurance Woes

Things about unemployment that frighten me: complete lack of health insurance
Things about graduation that are exciting to me: freedom from student health insurance

I’m having trouble this morning reconciling these two emotions. The dream is that I manage to garner some form of gainful employment that comes with benefits, so the first item ceases to be a concern. But, like I said – it’s a dream (for the present). However, despite this looming fear of being uninsured, I long for the days when I’m actually permitted to see someone with an MD after their name without a referral. Student health insurance is a joke. Not only does it cost a small fortune (for a supposed PPO) but the coverage is shoddy at best.

This morning I visited the student health center for what I hope is one of the last times. It turns out I was right, I have a minor ear infection. Its rather uncomfortable. Of course, I could just be a big gigantic baby and be making a fuss over something that isn’t really that bad. I never had ear infections in my youth. This is probably my second ear infection ever, in life. It hurts and I don’t like it. The friendly nurse practitioner (not my usual nurse practitioner because when you make a last minute appointment you don’t get to express preference as to whom you’re willing to see) told me I could just tough it out, and that it would resolve itself in a few days. No meds.

I tried to reiterate the “but it really, really hurts” line without sounding like a small child throwing a tantrum. I am not sure I succeeded, as I walked away to pay my $20 co-pay with no prescription in hand. Perhaps I should have re-emphasized just how hard it is to concentrate on anything when half your face is in pain.  And, unfortunately, I don’t think he was empathetic to my plight as a law student. So, I was sent packing and told to come back if it was still bothering me at the end of the week. And, because of how crappy student health insurance works I can’t really get a second opinion before then.

End result: I am crankier than I was when I went to sleep last night. And this is an unfortunate way to spend April Fools’

Unemployment, Revisited

In less than 60 days, I graduate from [not Georgetown Law]. Bar study class starts the morning after. I have not (yet) acquired post-graduation employment, gainful or otherwise.  The fact that I haven’t collapsed from a panic attack is a small miracle, but I suppose the (seemingly) never ending job search keeps me going. That and the ever-present cup of coffee in my hand. To be fair, sometimes it’s herbal tea.

For the second time in my relatively short adult life, I’m about to graduate into a shaky economy with few full time employment prospects. It’s daunting, but familiar. So, I’m doing what I do best – diffusing stress with the occasional bit of dark humor, a stab at creative writing, and spending all my spare time alternating frantically applying to jobs with staring into my laptop screen like a zombie as streaming video auto-plays.

I’m pretty sure my post-bar employment plans consist of gathering as many cardboard boxes as I can and making a box fort on the national mall. I have a few law school cohorts who might join me, which would be awesome because it means I wouldn’t have to collect quite so many boxes on my own. I’ve always been a fan of pooling resources whenever possible. I would make a very bad contestant on survivor because my desire to win would constantly be at war with my desire to make logical choices that not only benefit me, but the person sleeping on the tropical beach next to me. It really is too bad that DC has a northern climate, as that’s less than optimal for a box fort. I suppose we could work on various DIY water-proofing and insulation tactics. Then we can have our very own tent city. We might even hang our very own shingle and start a cardboard legal clinic – like Lucy in Peanuts. Once we get our bar passage results, we’ll have a wide variety of jurisdictions represented. Good thing the new law school building is supposed to have showers – it really should have a gym, though. Wouldn’t want to get out of shape.